My love letter to Spammers

I seem to be attracting spammers with the update of my website, so I’ve gone through it page by page and separated all my email references from the mailto links that made them so convenient.

Every. Single. Page.

Spammers suck. And, they think I’m stupid.

So, to try to avoid further junk clogging my inbox, I’ve changed every email address from @ to (at) and . to (dot) in the hopes that my future contacts will be living, breathing human beings rather than the internet freeloaders I seem to be attracting. It’s unfortunate, because the people I want on my site won’t have the convenience of messaging me with a simple click of an email link anymore.

My love letter to my most faithful spammers:

Dear Lovely Spammer You,

I’m not interested in your services. If I were, I would have looked you up already. Sorry.

I’m not interested in your selling my email address to your friends as viable and working, and I refuse to open your email alerting you that it is, enticing as the subject line may be. (As an aside, maybe you should find new friends. They’re dragging you down.)

I’m also not interested in waking the virus that you’ve painstakingly taken the time to write and spread. I just don’t have a block of time big enough where I can pencil that in. Sorry you did all that for nothing.

I work for a living. Maybe you should look into it.