That sleep thing again…

Please forgive me. I may ramble on here for a little while, not having had enough sleep again.

Sometimes I wonder why I have so much trouble sleeping. I read a lot of articles and hear a lot of news stories that this is a common problem. I wish being “part of the gang” made me feel better, but it doesn’t.

And then two nights ago, I got scared.

A little bit of history (short, trust me). I haven’t slept well since 1998. That’s a long time. Mostly I can get to sleep, but then wake up somewhere in the middle of the night and can’t get back at it. Then, the alarm goes off just as I feel like I could possibly drift back. The time I’m awake in the middle of the night varies; maybe anywhere from two to four hours. By the end of the day, I can barely keep my eyes open. When 10 p.m. rolls around, I’m headed for the next erratic sleep cycle. Usually, the only thing that makes me sleep is a few days of not getting any. Then, I sleep.

I had an OMT (osteopathic manipulation treatment) a little over a week ago, in the hopes of some relief. In the spirit of the hunt, I drew up a chart and started keeping track of my sleeping habits that night so the doctor could see how I was doing. I experienced my usual pattern the first couple of nights (6 ½ and 5 ½ hours of sleep, respectively), and then something weird happened. The next night I wasn’t able to fall asleep until 1:30 a.m. and only slept 3 ¾

hours, and no more than a couple of hours at a time. I started having trouble getting to sleep most every night after that, and kept waking up in the middle anyway.

Four nights ago I got desperate and took a Melatonin, even though they don’t really do anything for me. I took one again the next night, and then again the next night.

On the last day I took the melatonin, two nights ago, I got a total, a total, of two hours and fifteen minutes of sleep. During the five and a half-hour gap between 1 a.m. when I woke up and 6:15 when I fell back to sleep (but only for 45 minutes), I realized the problem was that I had stopped being sleepy. Usually I’m dead tired; when I’m awake in the middle of the night, when I’m struggling to make it through the dreaded 3:00 in the afternoon and when I’m forcing myself to stay awake until 10.

The sleepiness just stopped. Gone. No more sleepy.

I had read an article in National Geographic about people who can’t sleep. Here’s the thing: they die.

Last night I laid awake until 2:30, not the least bit sleepy even though I hadn’t slept the night before. As I lay there, I thought about those people in the National Geographic article, and I suddenly realized that this was it.

This was how I die.

But not before I go back for my second OMT this Friday.

Full page @UnderTheJuniper Tree illustration

I decided to colorize the “Lobotomy Pie” illustration from the Twisted Vol. 1 book and submit it to the online kid’s horror magazine Underneath the Juniper Tree. This would be how it turned out.

Juniper Tree has a blog that keeps up with their latest, but they also have all their back issues available for viewing online on Issuu.

Monsters at the book store

Let’s set the stage here. I’ve been receiving a lot of feedback about my illustration portfolio, mostly in that it will likely scare the children. (As an aside, I’m in the process of completely overhauling the lot of it to eliminate those things that I’ve been told make it scary.)

The other day I went shopping at Barnes & Noble. I had a 20% off coupon. It was mandatory.

I saw a bit of a trend in the picture book department, and I decided to take a few photos. See if you see a pattern.

And I bought this one (isn’t the lighting on the cover fantastic?):

For the record, Halloween is very much over, and the Christmas books were everywhere. Most of the books (all but two, if I remember correctly) were face forward rather than lined on the shelves.

I have to say, I had a discussion with a children’s book editor over the weekend (who I won’t identify here) who, when I told her most of the feedback I’ve been getting about my portfolio is that it’s too scary, said, “Creepy is in.”

I totally love that editor.

Things are not as they seem

I’ve decided to put an all-out effort over the next few months into illustrating promo pieces for my portfolio based on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. When I thought of it, it seemed like a good idea. It meant the onus was on Lewis Carroll to tell me what my next promo illustration would be, not me.

The bigger reason I decided to do it, though, was because of all the feedback I’ve been getting about my illustrations.

I’d rather not elaborate.

Last night I read the first chapter (“Down the Rabbit-Hole”) and came up with quite a few ideas. The problem was, I had to do some character development first, so those ideas had to wait.

The other problem was, my character development has turned out pretty sanitized. Vanilla. 50% gray.

Alice lacks that Rotty flavor that my illustrations from yesterday had. She lacks any flavor at all, to be honest. I’m afraid I’m trying to draw what I think somebody else wants, not what I want. Of course, that’s entirely the case, but if I want to get work (and I do) I need to give them what they want.

But I’m sure sanitization isn’t it.

Back to the drawing board.

Curly cues

Look what this rubber band did for me. It’s like wrought rubber maybe. Isn’t it lovely? This little guy might find himself hiding in an illustration someday.

Zombie finger

This was just lying on the ground for anybody to find. It’s totally a zombie finger, right? I mean, what else could it possibly be?

Proof. They do exist.

“TURN HANDEL AS FAR AS POSSIBLE”

Typos in public. Sometimes they’re good for a laugh. Sometimes, when they’re kinda more permanent, you wonder how many eyes O.K.’d them before they went to print. Turn Handel?

Poor George.

Of all the silly things…

I guess the best way to explain some of the silly photos I take is that I see things in things. Usually it’s faces, like the ones I posted here. This time it was a bird. He was in the maple seeds and stuff that fell onto the porch from the bushes beside. The photo above was how everything was just scattered there. The photo below is what I found in the middle of it all.

I seriously didn’t arrange this myself. I probably wouldn’t have even thought to do that. He was just sitting there, waiting for somebody to find him. Isn’t he perfect?

I’ll call him “Bird Seed.”

Similar Dispositions: @UnderTheJuniper #ohyeah

I’ve found an online magazine that seems to be produced specifically for my twisted side. It’s titled Underneath the Juniper Tree and is loaded with short stories and illustrations of horror for kids. If the magazine’s title seems odd, it might not so much after you’ve seen where it comes from.

The Halloween issue comes out soon, and I’ve submitted (and they’ve accepted) an illustration for the occasion. I’ll wait to post what I’ve submitted after the issue is released. No spoilers!

Something I can show you is the ad I designed and bought in this issue. That’s a teeny tiny version above, but you can click on it to see it biggie-size. It’s a full page ad, and I hope it sucks in some new readers who otherwise might not have known about the book.